Foodie

"Miss P did you eat an olive last night?"
"Yep, I ate olive it"

Brocco....what?

Me: What's this called? [Hold up avocado]
Miss P: ......ummmmm Brocco-melon?

Big School

Mum, when I go to big school next year, can I get a nose ring?

Terrible Lies

Me: Miss P! What did you just say? Did I hear a naughty word?
Miss P: ".........I didn't say shit?"

That's enough Dora for now.

Me: "Where do you live, Miss P?"
P: [gives street address]
Me: "What suburb? "
P: "........South America?"

A Star Wars Fan

While watching Star Wars for the first time

"Is that Dark Baider?"

A Bridge Too Far

While driving through the heavy fog this morning

"Look, you can't see the end of the bridge because of all the fog"

"Daddy that bridge is too bridgey"

"Did you mean foggy?"

"Yes"

Miss PM

"Don't call me Miss P, call me Julia Gillard!"
"Why?"
"Because I want respect!"

Er, how about no?

Mummy, when I am 15, I will be a mummy with two babies!

Soft Kitty

Soft kitty, sleepy kitty
Little ball of......germs

No speaka da english.

"What's your name?"

"Towook"

"Stop speaking Spanish"

Wrong Genre...

"Daddy can we watch Start Whores?"

"I think you mean Star Wars"

Breakfast woes

"Mum, this porridge is DISGUSTING..... it's destroying my LIFE."

Milk and Cookies

"Daddy, can I have some chocolate milk?"

"Sure once you clean your room"

"No Thanks Daddy, I'm not thirsty anymore."

Age is no barrier

"Nanny, are you older and bigger than me?"

Science

Condensation...... it's little drops of water mole-peels.

Astronaut in the making

"Daddy, have I ever been to space?"

A Very Serious Matter

"People look very serious when they wear tights"

"Why so?"

"Because they are cream".

The Wonder of Birth

Miss P: I know how babies come out!
Me: Really, how?
Miss P: Babies start in your belly, then they come out your bum like this (bends over and makes loud farting sounds while sticking her bottom out)

Foodie

Miss P: What's rice made of?
Me: Rice?
Miss P: No, what is it MADE of (looks at me like I'm a complete idiot)

Engineering 101

Me: Miss P, just build a bridge
Miss P: Mumma, stop saying that. I can't build a bridge, allthe people will fall off!

Flawless logic

"Daddy, What's the sun made out of?"

 "Mostly Hydrogen"

"No Daddy, it's made of sunlight".

Toilet Humour

Miss P (while with me in a cubicle in a crowded public toilet): Mummy, what's your vagina's name?

The Chatty Midget

Meet Miss P. She's four. She likes Toy Story, princesses, dancing, and talking. Lots of talking. Incessant talking. Her verbal curiosity is simultaneously challenging and hilarious.

I though I should start to record the random things that come out of her mouth, both for my own amusement and on the off chance that someone,  somewhere might also find her random thoughts as interesting and funny as we do.